Presence and Abscence

This is a photo of the most important place, for me, in all of Vietnam.

This journey is significant and deeply personal, because of who is present with me and who is absent. Today was an opportunity to celebrate and grieve. Today I was with my friend, Karen Morgan, whom I loved very much. Whom I continue to love.

Karen died this year after a long illness. She was a fellow traveler, and a good traveler. Karen was an adventurer, a laugher, a terrible practical joker and wickedly funny. Karen was my friend, and I her's, during some very hard times and some very good times. In that large tribe of people that included Karen and her partner Dave Leffman, meals were shared and wine was spilled. Year in and year out we marked the winter solstice by snow-shoeing or skiing to Source Lake, high in the Cascade Mountain. Partying around the fire, we would stay awake all night like good pagans, making sure the sun would rise on the world again after that longest night. Karen's beauty shown through any darkness, even in her long struggles.

Karen Morgan was my friend, and I miss her terribly. We held a memorial for Karen in the forest of the Cascade mountains, accompanied by the rushing of the Snoqualmie River and lit by a full moon. At that memorial, Dave entrusted small boxes of Karen's ashes to those of us who were willing to spread her ashes in a special place.

I brought that small physical piece of Karen Morgan with me on this journey. I carry a much larger presence of Karen in my heart. Today, on the Can Tho river, near a beautiful floating market, I mixed a portion of those ashes into the slowly moving waters. The Can Tho flows into the Mekong and the Mekong flows to the sea. I know that Karen would have loved it here.

This journey of mine continues on, and Karen with it. I have decided that the next place that I will leave some of Karen's ashes will be in some hidden nook at Angkor Wat. The last portion of Karen's ashes I will leave in Isan, the Far East of Thailand.

I do not know what to say in closing. I struggle for the truth of this. I will keep Karen's memory alive in my heart. My world is lessened by those whom I love who move out of this world. My world is blessed by those whom I come to love who move into this world. We do not die who are remembered, we who are held in the hearts of those who loved us.